Indifferent

Lost? Yes.

Indifferent? Totally.

Apathetic? Not so sure.

People? Not a big fan right now.

This little cursor has been blinking in front of me now for a little over an hour. I know I have a lot inside me that needs to be let out, and somehow I just can't find the words to explain it. It is probably going to come out totally cluttered.

Here I am, totally lost and in desperate need of guidance. Everyone think they have me all figured out, but, I don't really think anyone does. Where am I supposed to go from here?

One moment, you have your life figured out and the next, you're as lost as a 5 year old in times square. Is it Ok to be this lost? Is it Ok to not know where my life is going? Is it Ok to just not give a crap? Find me someone who can answer those questions. I think I might need to get a couple of therapy sessions. Just to get everything off my chest -might need a lot more than a couple of sessions- with someone who isn't in my life.

Right now, I am not a big fan of people. I came to the conclusion that no one gives a crap, even when you do care about them. Every man for himself, I guess that's how everyone's been living.

All those things are just pushing me away from everything in this life. It just pushes me forward to pack up my shit, take off and never come back or look back for that matter.

This might seem like a depressing note. It's not, or at least I'd like to think so. I don't need anyone's sympathy. I need people to be real. I am sick of this shit.

"I thank whatever gods may for my unconquerable soul. I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul."